Matters Of The Heart

I have been so much into “The And” lately and for those of you who don’t know what it is, it is a card game and a YouTube series where persons are given the opportunity to have deep stimulating conversations with each other via their cards. This had me thinking about how we start lasting intimate relationships.  Are they with questions that are rehearsed and frivolous (ok those have their place too) or is it more with questions that stimulate one’s mind so we can see where the other person’s headspace is? And most importantly have we asked ourselves these important questions to see where our mind is?

Getting into a serious relationship is a big deal, no matter what people tell you, do not rush into it. Compatibility is one of the most essential parts of any kind of relationship, therefore, at the very first step, you should look for it. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, there isn’t a better time than now to explore matters of the heart. Here’s a list of questions that you should consider before starting a new romantic relationship.

Are your goals and ideologies aligned?

Though these are not necessarily deal-breakers it is so important for you to have a general idea of where their mindset is in areas such as religion, raising a family,  finances, and even politics. Yes, politics. These seemingly trivial matters can be a source of great discontentment in the future if they are not brought to the surface early.

Is your partner aggressive?

If you are into aggressive, toxic masculinity then this won’t be a problem for you. But for most people, aggression may turn out to be a huge problem. And when I tell you this grind my gears it does.  Notice carefully how your partner is behaving while he is upset. Does he tend to get into fights and throw a few punches at the slightest provocation? If this scares you, you may want to reconsider how far you will take the relationship. Like listen, there is no violence/aggression in love. Ok? Ok.

• What is your partner’s approach towards sex?

Trust me; sex is a huge issue when you are thinking about making it serious with anyone. Establish from the get-go what your sexual tastes and preferences are to your partner and learn about his or hers. Let them know from the start if you want to wait. If their idea towards sex is frustrating you, you may want to re-think getting serious.

• Are you okay with your partner being possessive?

This does depend on personal preferences as some persons are into having the possessive, cave-man sort of partners, and some are really averse to it. Know that being playfully possessive is fine but jealousy might become a dangerous issue later on. Let your partner know right away that you need your own space and he or she cannot intrude, and see how they react.

• Is your partner consistent?

And I almost forgot consistency.  How could I? This is so, so important. The amount of interest your partner puts into the relationship will determine its outcome. Are promises constantly not kept? What about their behavior? Pay keen attention to circumstances such as these while remembering that life does happen.  Show me what you mean and I will see what you really mean.

Though it is true that the person you know for ten years may turn out to be a complete stranger in a day, it is so important that you pay attention to the things that will matter to you the most in the long run. With that being said I do pray that if you are looking for love or you are in love that it is one that feels like home. One that is warm.  One that is inviting. One that is comforting.

Until next time my loves ~ xoxo Dee